This is a comedic, satirical movie script.
Note: make sure to use your least expressive voice when you read this.
Le Notlikeus: The antagonist.
Agent Prota Gonist: The hero
Sidepunch: Agent Prota’s trusty assistant
Madam Token-character: The Italian woman who makes the movie seem less sexist and is there so there is a female for Agent Prota Gonist to pursue a relationship with.
Doctor Dorkenstien: A generic nerd (and the only character who can turn a dial.)
SCENE ONE, SCENCE ONE.
Madam Token-character is playing some music quietly in the background while doctor Dorkenstien is on a computer, smashing the keys while keeping a neutral face.
Prota Gonist: (ruffling Dorkenstien’s hair) whathya doing on your computometer?
Dorkenstien: I am have been gaining access to the Internet, which is a massive database of top-secret information directly related to the plot.
Prota Gonist: What have you found yet?
Dorkenstien: Nothing, a key aspect of the plot is us being in the dark about what Le Notlikeus will do next.
Sidepunch: It is just Dastardly La Notlikeus to use some sort of trickery or whatever!
Dorkenstien: Well said, Sidepunch. It seems like Le Notlikeus has protected his data with some sort of basic security measure!
Prota Gonist: I should of guessed that La Notlikeus would out smart us. You never know what Le Notlikeus is up to, that deviously generic villain!
Sidepunch: What is this strange data you speak of?
Dorkenstien: You see, the database works by sending electromagnetic signals around in a massive supercomputer which it sends out through special telephone wires called bandwidths. Electromagnetism is magnetism with the suffix electro in front to make it sound fancy. The magnets that make the Electromagnetic pulses are called data.
Prota Gonist: Your advanced scientific theorems bamboozles me!
Madam Token-character: Bamboozle is a Chinese word meaning “confuse” and Pandemonium is another Chinese word that means “similar to a messy desk.” I found that out back home in Paris, the capital of Italy or wherever I come from.
Sidepunch: All these fascinating facts have made me hungry!
Prota Gonist: Why don’t we go by some foodstuffs!
SCENE ONE, ACT TWO.
Sidepunch and Agent Prota Gonist is sitting on a chair in a cafe while madam token-character takes their orders.
Side Punch: Boy, it sure was suspicious that La Notlikeus would take some basic measures to hide his top-secret info.
Prota Gonist: Yes. Yes it is suspicious that Le Notlikeus would do that. I am glad we had this private discussion
Madam Token-character: Here are the coffees you ordered.
SCENE TWO, ACT ONE.
Doctor Dorkenstien is prying open the computer with a crowbar.
Side Punch: What advanced technological activity have you initiated your self into now?
Dorkenstien: I am trying to hack into La Notlikeus’s files.
Sidepunch: That is so advanced I won’t try to understand.
Dorkenstien: Done! I have found Le Notlikeus’s evil plan
Pulls out an envelope from the computer.
Dorkenstien: Here! He wrote down his plans in this envelope and posted it onto the Internet. My computometer worked as an letter box!
Madam Token-character: I thought you said that the Internet was based on magnetism.
Everyone stares at her.
SCENE TWO, ACT TWO.
Dorkenstien is flying a helicopter with Prota Gonist and Sidepunch in it.
Sidepunch: It sure was sneaky to go directly to La Notlikeus’s base.
Prota Gonist: I wonder what Le Notlikeus’s plans are.
Sidepunch: Didn’t you open the envelope?
Prota Gonist: Of course I did! How else would I of known La Notlikeus’s evil plan?
Suddenly a flying tank appears out of a cloud!
Prota Gonist: Honestly, Sidepunch, you are such a scaredy-cat!
The tank starts flying straight at the helicopter and a chase ACT starts.
Dorkenstien: Calm down everybody! I know what a tank’s weakness is! They’re solar powered!
Sidepunch: And it’s night now for no apparent reason!
The tank falls from the sky and makes a huge explosion.
Prota Gonist: Your renewable energy isn’t so scary now, huh Le Notlikeus!!!
SCENE THREE, ACT ONE.
All the characters a standing in a straight line facing the audience over an indistinct background.
Madam Token-Character: What you said when the tank fell down was so witty and clever! For no reason let’s pursue a long term romantic relationship!
Le Notlikeus: I’ve found you, Agent Prota!
Prota Gonist: La Notlikeus! I should of guessed you would do something sooner or later!
Sidepunch: Yeah, that’s a pretty obvious assumption you should of made.
Le Notlikeus: Soon my magazine that advocates equality will be taken to the publishers at Acme Publishing! Mu ha ha!
Prota Gonist: Not if I can help it!
SCENE THREE, ACT TWO.
Agent Prota Gonist is buy himself in front of Acme Publishing Headquarters with some dynamite in front of him. He sets it off and the building explodes.
Madam Token-Character: My hero!
They kiss and the movie ends.